Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
