She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
