I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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