I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
