we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
