Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
