she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
