...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
