look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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