the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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