they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
