cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
