How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
