jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
