she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
