Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
