every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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