Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
