I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
