Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
