States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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