it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
