Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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