She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
