duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
