i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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