I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
