You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
