Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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