She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
