she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
