I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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