kristin has been a bad kristin
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
