How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It all started with a game of naked twister.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
