i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
