Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
