5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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