I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
