so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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