seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
