You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
