so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
