Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize