Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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