apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
