Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Sext me about skeletons
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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