walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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