well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
