I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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