fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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