OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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