so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I need a beard to bite.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
