his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
