bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
