I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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