you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
