I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize