The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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